What I loved about my day_2_BusRide

I've always enjoyed bus rides especially when I'm alone and the travel takes long and I'm not in a hurry and the scenery is nice. Back when I was in college my usual routine was riding a bus every morning for thirty minutes to an hour. It could be irritating at times mostly because of the traffic, but during good days I spend that ride thinking about deep matters- like the politics in the Philippines, poverty, pollution (wow! that's actually an alliteration, haha). Sometimes I also think about personal matters.

There's something about bus rides that calms and amuses me. And as absurd as it may sound, there were a lot of instances wherein after getting off the bus I feel like I'm a new person. Believe me that's how much I enjoy intellection! The new perspective that I get after a time of introspection makes me feel more alive and light. Which is why in all honesty I prefer my bus rides to be spent with no one else but ME.

Yet today is different. What I loved about my day is the 15-minute ride from my workplace to town during which I spent a great time chatting with someone. When I lose track of time it's a sign that I enjoy what I'm doing. And that's what happened. I'm thankful for the times that I get amused by talking to myself (because I guess that's just how I'm wired) but I'm also thankful for the times like today when I could get to know someone better through a good conversation. After all we are relational beings. God intended for us to live alongside people, even those with different personalities and upbringing as ours because He knew the joy that fellowship could bring. Inasmuch as I want to lock myself up in a room and muse about anything I want, and though that is good and productive as well, I know in my heart that God would be more pleased to see me interacting, conversing and connecting with others. He gave me ears so that I can listen. He designed us in a way that we could build relationships with people, and most importantly with Him.

Thank you God for the gift of conversation and the ability to build relationships with people. 

And thank you for the privilege to relate with you in an unhindered way. 

Thank you for this beautiful day!

What I loved about my day_1_Magnum

Everyday is special and beautifully different and in each day there is always something worth remembering. Which is why I'm gonna start writing about "What I loved about my day". Hopefully I won't miss.

What I loved about my day is the Magnum treat by a good friend who is celebrating her birthday. 

It's funny how much I love her company now when in fact the first time I saw her, I felt chills because of her intimidating air. It was as if she could see right through me and pinpoint what was wrong about me. Surprisingly this woman is very sweet and tenderhearted. Though her appearance disagrees with it (haha), she is caring and loving. I've seen and heard how she takes care of her family and how much love she pours out to them. She has the perfect balance of strength and charm. I appreciate this ate of mine a lot. Her genuine and sincere heart is irreplaceable. To be associated with her and be labelled as her friend is a treasure. Not everybody gets to experience the fun and warmth of being with her. 

Thank you ate Jing for being my yaya every now and then and for putting up with my bratty AND bipolar ways. 

Thank you Lord for the life of ate Jing. I pray that you make your blessings overflow in her life more. Grant the desires of her heart and fill her days with joy and laughter. Amen.

P.S. 

Me: Ate Jing, Magnum ka ba?

Jing: Bakit?

Me: Kasi pag break, hinahanap-hanap kita. :)

Thank you for the Magnum kanina! :)

Human Donuts No More!

That's refreshing! I just listened to Yeng Constantino's testimoy and I am blown away by her God.

Some months ago she graced UP Diliman with her presence and gave a short talk during the ACLE. She talked about how empty her life was even AFTER fulfilling all her dreams-her dreams of becoming rich and famous. She experienced the void and depression that purposeless living gives. While listening to her I am also reminded of the time that I was almost like her. Well I am not a famous singer-songwriter (I wish!) but I know where she was coming from. I can relate to the pain of being hollow inside. In fact if we will be perfectly honest about ourselves, we all could relate to that pain. All of us are huge donuts!

I am blown away by her God, who by the way is also my God. He blew me away in the same manner some 9 years ago. Isa akong trese anyos lang na bata noon, pero dipres-dipresan din ang drama ko. At a young age I knew something was terribly wrong. I was aware of the fact that this life is pointless. There was no meaning, no joy. I viewed life as just the boring routine of waking up, going to school, having a degree, working, storing up money, getting married, having kids, getting old, then dying.

But the most humbling thing happened. This King condescended and whispered "Lee Ann, I love you and I want to have a relationship with you." God did that? He did. You see, what makes my story similar to Yeng's, and probably to anyone else's who share the same faith as us is the fact that we were not the ones who did anything about the darkness of our state. We weren't the ones who sought after Light, it was the other way around. All along it was Christ who was pursuing us and waiting, so patiently waiting until we finally came to our senses and said "Yes Jesus, I want to love you back. Take all of me for I am Yours. " That made all the difference in the world. The once-meaningless found purpose; joy overflowed, and heaven joined in the celebration.

In John 10:10 Jesus says "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

He came. We did not go to him. It was him who found us because left on our own we would still be lost. He came with the rose of His death to woo us.

God did that. And still does. Would you accept his rose?

Dating Mr. Keyboard

November 29, 2011: My heart was racing really really fast just as my keyboard was almost crying "be gentle please" because finally I had my official blog site.

Fast-forward to a year later: a grand total of five entries. 

What happened? 

In my first entry here I made marriage vows... to writing.

" This is something that I want to do during times of boredom and excitement alike, at times of intellectual drought or spring, and for as long as I shall be able to conjure any insight at all. Because when my eyelids close I see myself writing."

It sounded like I was unstoppable about it. Guess what, only four entries were written afterwards. It's either I lost my counting skills or I was really reckless in my statements before. Those words I realize are too strong and were driven only by emotions and fantasy. It's like falling in love then losing interest after sometime. 

What went wrong? Was I only lying when I wrote "...the one thing that makes my heart race at full throttle is writing."? 

I don't think so. What happened to me is similar to what's happening to that man who wants to divorce his wife. I did not become intentional about pursuing my passion and so the outcome is the ri-di-cu-lous FIVE blogs in ONE YEAR! Would you call that passion? 

If I say I love someone or something, it cannot be proven true until I actually continue to do so, not only feel so. 

I believe that too many marriage vows are broken not because they were untrue in the time that they were spoken but because along the way couples forget to be deliberate in loving. Love is a decision. Raging emotions are just the start of it.

In the same way loving God is not something that we do only when we feel like it. In fact loving him means choosing to obey and honor him even when circumstances aren't convenient. It means talking and listening to him even when he seems to be on silent mode. 

Love is a choice we need to regularly make. 

I had a good start with writing. But somewhere along the way we broke up because I was not willing to have a date with it when it didn't feel as exciting as it used to be. Thankfully somebody woke me up from this hiatus so Mr. Keyboard better be ready.

Sixth Month

Daddy,

It's been six months of being in this season, in this "new" place. I've certainly had my ups and downs, my hypes and discouragements. But You remain faithful and you steadied my heart. You once again proved me wrong. Haha! Father, Thank you for K, D, ate Razz and the new friendships I've discovered. Thank You. Really my heart is full of gratitude that you brought me here and now. I am convinced beyond doubt that You are sovereign and you work ALL things for the good of those who love You.

Psalm 108:1 "My heart is confident in you, O God; no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart!"

Still married.

Today my family is celebrating my parents' 21st wedding anniversary- well there's really no "celebration" because Papa is assigned some place else and so there's only me, Mama, and my sister Maria here- watching Budoy. But I have to say this is their best anniversary yet, at least in my opinion. Stay with me for a few more minutes and you'll know why.

Theirs is a marriage which irritatingly goes from mountaintops to deep valleys every now and then. One moment they are seriously fighting, but after a day or two they become like teenage sweethearts who are madly in love with each other again. For the longest time I've been complaining- sometimes silently, but many times audaciously- both to them and to God about why they married in the first place, and why they remain to be until now. I questioned the purity and the genuineness of their love towards each other and I used to tell myself that when I get married someday, I will never be like them. But now God amazingly gave me new eyes to view my parents' marriage. I am proud to say that they truly, genuinely, purely love each other.

They have ups in their marriage after going through great downs because they love each other and more importantly, they choose to love each other. I realize now that they too know how to go beyond the shallowness of their emotions and still go on to love. They are forgiving and they want to be reconciled again even after a fight. And I'm not just talking about minor quarrels, I'm talking about serious, heart-breaking fights. They choose to overlook an offense- how could I have missed this all these years? Yesterday while chatting with them I was overjoyed when Papa commented that marriages should have no expiration. He married Mama for good! And I have reason to believe that Mama feels the same way too. All this time I have been focusing on the ugly details, but thankfully now I know that their love is very real. I applaud God for them; after all, He wrote their love story.

Stop Praying.

Nope, you did not misread that.

Of course we both know that this isn’t what they teach us on Sundays and never can this be found in the Good Book. In fact there’s Colossians 4:2, and many others that encourage the exact opposite. But I won’t take the title back. And of course I am not messing with you. :p

By ceasing in prayer I do not mean that we should come to a point where we say "I have prayed enough, and have uttered all sorts of prayers there are in the universe, I have peaked in my prayer life, therefore today I end it."

Come on! We know that never will that day come because every moment, every season we go through is a season of need. Need of God's grace, forgiveness, provision, in fact need of God himself. Oh and must I add that it is a desperate need?

But we have to stop praying- when God is telling us to act. If we think that being in our private supplications majority of the time will suffice, then we are greatly mistaken. I have nothing against spending significant hours in intercession, but I have everything against not doing something about what we have just interceded about. There's a certain personal prayer concern which whenever I am reminded about, would always urge me, not to pray, but to actually make a step of faith by doing my part.

I strongly believe that intercession should be

beyond the words we utter. What's that old man's proverb again? "Actions speak louder than words." I'm sure that this doesn't apply to men's ears alone but to God's as well. How will God answer our plead to pass our problematic subjects when we tell him, by not studying hard, that a failed grade is just as fine? Aren't we sending contradicting messages when we ask for provision yet we are not generous to the church and to others?

Our God, ladies and gentlemen, is the God who isn't tickled by lip service alone. For me when he commanded us to pray without ceasing, he did not mean for us to keep reminding him about what our needs are, as if he is forgetful! True intercession transcends words and extends to actions.Not actions declaring our independence from God, but ones very much filled with faith in him. I think it's Philip Yancey who wrote that when we pray, we must be prepared to be the very answer to

our prayers.

If prayer is powerful enough, how much more is prayer acted upon?

:)

(A September17, 2011 post in Facebook)